40-year-old dad tells wife he's traveling 10,000 miles to go to Burning Man in South Africa while she stays home with their 5-month-old baby: 'He needs a break and parenthood'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 31, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

There's a reason there are more single moms than single dads. It is simply far easier for a dad to leave their family and never return during the first years of the baby's life. Babies rely so much on their mothers to keep them alive, and fathers cannot provide sustenance using only their bodies. There are so many cultural notions that single parenthood is women's fault for choosing the wrong man. Of course, there is social stigma around a man being a deadbeat dad, but often you don't even know that they are one because they're so uninvolved in their child's life that it never comes up. 

The term "married single mother" has been coined to denote women in marriages where they're doing all the work. It's as if instead of merely having a baby, they have two babies, and one of them is their husband who doesn't do anything. 

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  • The mom in this story might not be a married single mother yet, but her husband's proposition is making her question their relationship. He wants to travel to the South African desert by himself while she stays at home with their 5-month-old baby. His reasoning? He needs a break from parenthood. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10488289792
    via Sasha Matveeva

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA because I don’t think my husband should go to burning man Africa when we have a 5 month old baby at home?

    My husband thinks it is perfectly reasonable for him to go party at Afrikaburn (burning man in South Africa) and leave me in California alone with our 5 month old baby. He will be completely off the grid for a week, with no service, 10,000 miles away. Not that he
    via u/Street_Swan_9106
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    Cheezburger Image 10488290816
    via Bethany Beck

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    could do anything from there but I can't even reach him in an emergency. He's telling me I can do something for a week with my friends, but not only do I not want to but I really can't because I'm breastfeeding. I just feel like he could at least be going somewhere closer where we
    via u/Street_Swan_9106
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    could reach him, or at least somewhere we could go too and stay nearby. I get he needs a break and parenthood is a lot but it's only been 5 months and this seems excessive. AITAH?
    via u/Street_Swan_9106
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    Cheezburger Image 10488291072
    via Rana Sawalha

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Amazing-Quarter1084 Make sure he has that travel insurance maxed out. NTA Guy's a But I'm sure the moment you heard "Burning Man" you were aware of that.
    via u/Amazing-Quarter1084
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    Ok_Passage_6242 Your husband sounds like a complete and total loser. He's just a manchild. He'd Rather pay all that money for an experience, then put that money towards raising a healthy happy child in this economy? You have a bigger problem than burning man if he thinks five months of parenthood requires across continental week long break.
    via u/Amazing-Quarter1084
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    totaleclipseofmyasss my brain immediately went to he has a secret an affair, probs using this as a ruse to get away and sleuth.
    via u/totaleclipseofmyasss
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    seaglassgirl04 Well... anything goes at Burning Man. Make of that what you will.
    via u/seaglassgirl04
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    tamara_henson A dude going on a solo vacation while leaving the mother of his 5 month old, both home alone, is the worst d ckbag on the planet. I am so sorry this has happened to you. You already know what to do.
    via u/tamara_henson
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    Iwabuti Test him for STDs when he gets home?
    via u/Iwabuti
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    Hot-Tension-2009 With 9 month pregnancy plus 5 months of a newborn I highly doubt they've been doing the dirty the same amount as before the pregnancy. He's most likely feral and ready to smash. He could be a decent dude but he'd probably stay home if he was. I'd be stressing about infidelity too
    via u/Hot-Tension-2009
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    jaderust Seriously. I would be side eyeing him for going to regular Burning Man with an infant at home. Going to another continent for a music festival when you have a 5 month old at home? Not the time.
    via u/jaderust
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    Omegoon Yea, because he let's you to be "single" mom for a week, let's become a single mom permanently. Great advice.
    via u/Omegoon
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    PM_ME_BATMAN_PORN Hey man, sometimes raising one kid is easier than two!
    via u/PM_ME_BATMAN_P*RN
  • 17
    boknows65 didn't he offer for her to take a solo vacation too? Not exactly one sided. you can't judge from what she wrote. we have no idea what their relationship is like. we have no idea what kind of support network she has. do grandparents live close? does she have a nanny? does she work?
    via u/boknows65
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    In some relationships solo vacations are normal. I've got a buddy who hunts and fishes a lot and he sometimes goes off grid for a week. 5 months is not 5 weeks. by 5 months you're in a routine. are you working? if you're working this is potentially a lot to ask but if you're a stay at home mom how much does this change your life?
    via u/boknows65
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    people in healthy relationships make sacrifices for each other. If he's constantly leaving the entire parenting role to her he's the problem, but if once a year they each get a break to hang with friends, who is to judge.
    via u/boknows65
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    watnowwombat Lmao buddy she's breastfeeding. It is absolutely one sided, he knows that she can't just get up and take a vacation. And if he's actually oblivious to the fact that she can't just do that, it's just one more reason to kick his a... Now please don't procreate until you understand what it means to have children.
    via u/watnowwombat
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    VirusZealousideal72 No, buddy. No. You take a 1-week long vacation five months after your child was born and leave your breastfeeding spouse alone with them, you will ALWAYS be the of all d ckbags.
    via u/VirusZealousideal72
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    DickHopschteckler I have a reasonably "cool" wife. I am not telling her about this one because I don't want to see the withering glare.
    via u/DickHopschteckler
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    Initial_Pirate_9443 Dude, right? I've got the coolest girlfriend in the world. I would never even consider this nonsense.
    via u/Initial_Pirate_9443
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    JimmyJonJackson420 There's being cool and there's being taken advantage of, I'd have no issue with my man doing this but I don't have a 5 month old newborn at home This guy needs to respect his wife and learn quickly the life he chose is the life he chose he doesn't get to run off on off the grid excursions anymore
    via u/JimmyJonJackson420
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    whaddayameanm8 NTA - Of course he thinks it's perfectly reasonable, because he knows deep down that you would never dump the kids on him for a week and go off grid. Being a parent means there are sacrifices you have to make, especially while you have an infant. Tell him it's time for him to man up and be a father, not just a sp rm donor. You didn't sign up to be a married single mother.
    via u/whaddayameanm8
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    joe-lefty500 NTA Your husband is freaking because having a child has made him realize his youth is slipping away and adulthood taking a firm hold. It såks but that's too bad. He could wait until the baby is a little older and he's acting like a man child
    via u/joe-lefty500
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    memyself143143 My ex left me home alone with a new born while he went on a fishing trip. I never forgave him for that . He picked fish over me and his new son.
    via u/memyself143143

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family drama baby toxic-husband mother bad parenting burning man music festival bad parents parenting husband dad family mom Parenting Fail Father Parenting FAILS
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